My 40 Truths #3: When You Feel Down, Do Something for Others

Let me preface this entry by saying this is not about what a great person I am but really what has helped me in moments when I'm really really really bummed. Let's face it, everyone gets down in their life -- sometimes it's because of tragedy, sometimes it's about dissatisfaction at work, sometimes it's because of a break-up, or sometimes it's just a really bad traffic jam in the morning. Now, there is a multitude of things one can do to cheer oneself up:

1) You can go on a shopping spree. Buy the Louboutins that you've been eyeing for how many months or that 72 piece Crayola box that you never had as a child but now you can afford it you really really really still want it. Or treat yourself to Michelin star dinner.

2) Book a trip to somewhere you've never been before for the sheer enjoyment of bragging about it on your social media and lording it over your less travelley friends.

3) Have a drink or five at a nice swanky cocktail bar that has weird names for cocktails inspired by gangsters or vaudevillians or random sexual innuendo.

These are just some examples of things that I myself have actually tried over the years. I can tell you all of them work to varying degrees but I can also tell you that all of them work only for a very limited period of time -- say 24 hours.

But you know what lasts a long time? It's when you take that frustrated energy of being down and channeling it towards helping someone else who's in a worse position than you. There have been several studies as to why and how this works -- I will attach those studies here on this link. It's called Helper's High -- it's a real thing! I can really just speak from my own experience about how much it improves my mood whenever I help out someone else.

A few years ago I was feeling very frustrated by my then job and I was feeling very listless about my life. I was earning a lot of money, I was in good shape, but I didn't feel fulfilled. Then a good friend asked me if I would join a music ministry -- singing for mass once or twice a month, singing for a wedding once a month at least, and going for rehearsals twice a week in a place usually one to two hours away by car. Also, there's no pay. I was intrigued and I went in for an audition. Despite my lack of training and my inability to read notes and my pitchy voice, I got in. Over the years with the Hangad music ministry, I remember loads of hours in cars and vans and buses endless hours of learning, memorization, and choreography. It was hard work, it wasn't easy, and it took a toll on my voice sometimes my health but I tell you it was some of the happiest times of my life.

Together with a group of dedicated people who have given their lives to this organization for decades, we were able to give comfort to people who needed it most. We were able to give joy so that people could celebrate the milestones in their lives. We were able to raise money for good causes and maybe helped hundreds more than we ever realized.

One thing that stood out for me during my time in the music ministry was when we were in a far off province and one of our sponsors asked if we could stop by their house to sing to their daughter who is left incapacitated, barely lucid, and immobile due to a very tragic car accident. We filed into her little hospital bedroom, maybe there were ten of us. There was no piano, maybe there was a tuning fork somewhere I don't remember, but we sang. I could not look anyone in the eye it was too sad and too tragic. When I was finally able to look up, of course, everyone was crying but they were all tears of joy and warmth and thanks. Even the young lady who we were singing for had tears coming down her face. That was maybe 12 years ago and I still remember it as one of the most uplifting experiences of my life. If we made her happy, if we gave comfort to her family just for one day then all those years of practice and training we well worth it.

You don't always get to do something big and dramatic like the stuff we did in the music ministry. One time one of my good friends’ grandfathers had passed away and she is very very bummed about it. I'm not good with comforting words but what I am good at is making projects. My friend liked to take photos of her stuffed Carebear all around the world as she traveled and I realized she doesn't have all those photos in one place. So I go on the Internet, download her Funshine photos, and put them in a little photo book. The stuffed toy had a lot of wear and tear and so I wanted my friend to have something that would last longer than this stuffed toy would. I put it together and was able to give it to my friend and I think that little something made me happier than it made her? I hope it did.

Lastly, when we were trying to get pregnant last year, I was not allowed to do any of that brought me joy such as drinking alcohol working out and the 3rd thing I can think about right now. So I had hours and hours by myself -- invariably making me very sad and mopey. So I started crocheting as if my life depended on it. It was always very good with the crochet. In grade school, we were supposed to make one crocheted tote bag as a final project for the school year. I made three. I started crocheting a whale shark with the intent of giving it to our future baby. Whale sharks are my favorite animals. I was done in about a month it wasn't that hard. But when I shared it with others on social media I found that a lot of people liked whale sharks as well and wanted their own crocheted whale shark. So here I am about a year and a half after I crocheted my first whale shark. I am on #9 and the whale sharks have gone all around the world. I still have quite a few more to do but every time I make one it makes me so happy knowing that my whale sharks will bring a smile to someone else's face just as much as it brought a smile to mine.

So hey, got the Monday Blues? How about doing something nice for someone else? How about going to Facebook and checking out who has the nearest birthday next and get them a present? Or how about checking up on a friend buy them lunch one time this week? How about writing a letter to your favorite high school teacher and thanking them for the immense impact they've made in your life (I actually did this a few years ago and through rewards have been immense )? If you're like me, sometimes when I'm really down, I don't like to interact with other people -- Why not send a postcard or a letter to a friend you haven't heard from for a long time and just check up on them let them know that someone is thinking about them. Believe me, doing any one of these things will make you feel 100% better and will last far longer than that iPhone 11 you just bought (for reference I just bought an iPhone 11 so I'm speaking from experience ).